T10FB Redux: September 28, 1996 – The Billboard Hot 100

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Originally written September 28, 2013.

Welcome, loyal readers, to another action-packed Saturday night!  I just hope that THIS isn’t the highlight of your evening.

Tonight on Top 10 Flashback, we will travel to this week in 1996 and look at the ten most awesome tunes as determined by Billboard magazine.  When you see these, you will say “Thank God there was alternative!”

So for better or for worse, here we go.  Survey dated September 28, 1996.

#10:
You Learn/You Oughta Know – Alanis Morissette

Before there was Taylor Swift, there was Alanis Morissette whining about getting dumped.  Honey, if you’re willing to go down on your man in a theater, your relationships will last about as long as your career did.

#9:
Where Do You Go – No Mercy

The betht thong on thith litht!
\

,
I’ll show you where I go, my lovely!
\

#8:
You’re Makin’ Me High – Toni Braxton

All right, now this one’s sexy.  As was Toni herself.  If this video doesn’t fill you with burning desire to “form babby” with her, see #9.

#7:
Loungin’ – LL Cool J

Sorry about the stretch-o-vision video. Name another rap artist who’s had a career as long as LL Cool J.  I don’t think you can.  Five years earlier, he did “Mama Said Knock You Out,” one of the very few rap songs worth blowing your speakers for.  This one’s not so memorable.

#6:
Change The World – Eric Clapton

Clapton has been coasting for decades.  This is a good song, but if you were to transport a Cream fan from 1968 and play him this, he’d shake his head.

#5:
C’mon N’ Ride It (The Train) – Quad City DJ’s

This one’s taken its rightful place among the great party songs.  Hard to resist.

#4:
Twisted – Keith Sweat

For something that was such a big hit (it had peaked at #2), I don’t remember it at all.  Oh, I’m sure I heard it, but it’s just another generic 90’s R&B song.  Absolutely nothing makes it stand out – it has no hook.

#3:
It’s All Coming Back To Me Now – Celine Dion

Oh, great.  A Celine Dion song that goes on for over seven minutes.  Seven.  Fucking.  Minutes.

#2:
I Love You Always Forever – Donna Lewis

Well, the girls liked it, and they were the ones who listened to CHR stations.  At least Donna wasn’t bad looking.

Speaking of songs girls liked, here’s the number one song from 17 years ago this week according to the Billboard Hot 100:

This song was #1 for FOURTEEN WEEKS.

Not many good ones this week, but what did you expect?  Share your feelings below.

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